Olivia Scarlett Lily Wallis
Kind, Compassionate, Funny & Generous
On the 29th of March 2024, our world fell into darkness when we suddenly lost Olivia at just 25 years old from Epilepsy. First came the shock, then disbelief, but most of all the excruciating emotional pain from an unimaginable loss. In those days, weeks and months that followed we came to understand the true meaning of “mad with grief” but also how precious life is, and not to be taken for granted. A sea of broken hearts has been left behind, but so has thousands of wonderful memories. For everyone who really knew Liv, we feel and see her all the time. She is there in our dreams, embedded in our thoughts and more so continues to guide us in a way that makes us all try to be a better person.
The impact Olivia had on so many lives is extraordinary, even those who had only known her a short time. Never has the saying been more truthfully painful, than the good die young. But we all keep on going. Olivia is more than the heartbreak we feel, she is our strength, our conscience, our gratitude, and our appreciation. As her friends and family, we have all realised there was one thing we could do to honour our darling girl – to be more like her in how we live. Olivia was everything that is good in life and more. The epitome of every human trait that makes some people so very special. She was a true earth angel, heaven gaining what we have lost.
As a sensitive, caring, loving child and young woman she passionately valued and cared for animals as much as she did for humans. A vegetarian from an early age, and every Christmas or Birthday her number one choice for a gift was something with “fur”. There were rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters and let us not forget the 2 gerbils that turned into 11 – Olivia kept them all, too worried about what “homes” they may have gone to. And our dogs. Especially Spike a darling deaf French Bulldog, with a wonky leg, who Olivia had an unbreakable bond with. Saturday morning visit to Pets-At-Home buying them all presents was a standard weekend activity for Liv.
Olivia shared a very close bond to her sister, they were just 21 months apart. The pair of them often spending time with their Nan and Great Aunt – which typically entailed the siblings playing practical jokes on their elders. From childhood to adulthood, Olivia loved having fun – there was never a dull moment. Liv once said to her friends she was here for a good time, not a long time…….and she truly did embrace and live by that rule.
Dressing up was another love and as a young child, Olivia would try to avoid wearing “clothes” preferring to a mixture of dressing up clothes. As she entered her teenage years, dressing up shifted to endless packages from Asos arriving each week- God forbid she could be seen going out in the same outfit twice! At 4 years old Olivia joined the local football team and within a year she was the only remaining girl on the team. Often the goalie, she was
nicknamed “Olivia the Wall Wallis”. When we moved to Kent, Olivia joined a local girls football team, however this was short lived once starting secondary school. Preferring to spend time with friends, giggling, and getting up to mischief.
Olivia loved bringing people together, having fun, she would never leave a bar without having struck up a conversation with a stranger and throughout every stage of her life, made new friends. Livvy loved Friday/Saturday nights out, there were also the house parties, often themed, evenings round a fire pit, pre-Christmas dinners – our home often filled with the precious sound of young girls laughing. Or upon waking up, finding someone fast asleep on the sofa, rather than her worry about them trying to make their way home. Liv cared about people in this way, picking up Liv in the early hours of a morning, would typically involve dropping others off. Once she was so worried about a couple of strangers getting home from a club, the car booked for her she re-routed to go via North London to get them home safely! Roof top and cocktail bars, dining out, girls trips away, South Coast, Theme Parks, evening with friends painting – just some of the things she loved.
Olivia was extremely bright, naturally, but hated academia. Exams were stressful for her and not without impact on her health. She did amazingly well in her GCSE, but the pressure of Grammar School was detrimental to her, so at 16 we enrolled her at Hadlow to study Animal Management. The work was easy for her, and she got to spend time outdoors, whether building fences or looking after the animals, she was particularly fond of the pigs and the lamas. Work experience at the local vets she found too upsetting, so shifted to office work and eventually joined Blue Motor Finance, where she remained until her passing. It was here she made many new friends. And lived by the work hard/play hard rule.
Olivia was generous, thoughtful, and compassionate – we had always known this, but the depth and lengths she would go for others, became fully known in the conversations and memory sharing since she left this physical world. Whenever someone was down, she would thoughtfully write a note or leave a present. There are “pieces” of Olivia’s in so many homes, treasured items that were bought to bring about a smile and done so with incredible thought.
The meadows are a place in which as a family we would walk our dogs. In the summer months Liv would also picnic with her friends here. The upside to Covid was that it afforded us as a family months spent together, and living in close proximity, we spent hours here.
The bench is in memory of Olivia, a place for all who knew her to come and be with her. But also, as a family wishing to give something to the wider community. A gift that reflects Liv’s generous heart, her thought and care for others. It is a place for everyone to sit quietly and take time out from this ever-growing mad world, to appreciate all that we have. Noting the seasons as they change, which reflect the elapsing of our own days and act as a nudge to us all, not to waste time.
On the day we first went to visit the progress of the installation of the bench, there was the most beautiful rainbow. One that you could see both ends of and on the day the bench was completed, a Mole had moved in – the bench suddenly surrounded by countless mole hills that had appeared overnight. There is no need for any logic or over-thinking, just that these signs offer us some comfort. For such an animal lover, especially for dogs, seeing the wildlife and four-legged friends gravitate, sit on the bench, play in the river – raises a smile. It is exactly what she would have wanted.
The flowers we add are to bring about colour to those days in particular when the sky and life can feel grey and extra heavy. Liv often bought flowers for others, now it is our turn to do the same for her. Olivia loved a “theme” – Valentines, Easter, Halloween and Christmas and this is why we sometimes like to re-create these days on the bench.
Each year in the UK, around 1,000 people die from causes related to epilepsy.
Epilepsy can affect anyone, at any age, from any background. But it usually starts either in childhood or in people over 60. There are approximately 625,800 people in the UK who have epilepsy – that’s 1 in 107 people. There are around 103,600 children and young people with epilepsy in the UK, the equivalent of 1 in 200.
Olivia has her first seizure when she had just turned 13 – we never saw it coming. This coincided with puberty and we found out this is not uncommon. She rarely talked about her Epilepsy, and she never let it define her. Nor stop her from doing what she wanted. Olivia was fearless and one of the bravest young people you could ever meet.
SUDEP is when someone with epilepsy dies and no other cause of death can be found, many of those who due are often young, the risk of sudden death is estimated to be 24-28 times increased in young people with epilepsy. It disproportionally affects young adults – epilepsy deaths are in the top 10 of all causes of premature deaths in the UK.
The lack of funding is significant, given this is a condition affecting millions of people worldwide. Despite being one of the most prevalent neurological disorders, it only receives around 0.3% of the total health related research funding in the UK. This disparity highlights the urgent need for more funding. More funding would mean fewer young lives being cruelly taken too soon.
Olivia had a huge heart, she would donate regularly, even from an early age. Sponsorship for an orphan in Africa, donations to Children in Need, Water Aid, adoption of wild animals…. the list is exhaustive.
As part of the legacy of Liv and to be more like her – kind, compassionate and generous – we continue to try to raise monies for both research and charities close to her heart. We have seen friends run marathons, dye their hair purple, raffles, donations, and many other fund-raising initiatives.
We understand that the cost of living is expensive, so many people struggling. But if after reading you feel a call to donate to help towards the research needed, you can do so by simply clicking the link below which will take you to Olivia’s “MuchLoved” page. As well as fundraising for SUDEP and Young Epilepsy, there is also a link to Last Chance and Fetch on here – two animal charities. It was Last Chance that we took home 3 of our dogs – the much loved Sam, Vera and Ruby. Olivia loved all animals, but dogs always held a special place in her heart, they were drawn to her gentle and kind nature.
Tribute to Olivia Scarlett Lily Wallis – 28.01.1999 to29.03.24
Or by following the links on this page to the charities we support in Olivia’s memory. Outside of this page we have also raised over £5,000, which has gone directly to Young Epilepsy.
Ben, a friend, and colleague of Olivia’s will be running in the Brighton Marathon this April. He has been on his own personal journey and to learn more about Ben and why he is running in memory of Liv you can click on this link:
Share their memory, so they are never forgotten.